Saturday, August 4th
Time For Some R&R
This is it! This is the part of the trip I’ve really been looking forward to! Obligatory sight-seeing is out of the way, the girls are safely on their way home, nothing but curvy roads and high speeds ahead! Up until now we’ve either been hauling ass to get somewhere, or meandering down the Pacific coast with ladies in tow, camping and taking it slow. The focus has been on sightseeing, and we’ve seen plenty, but now is when the motorcycle trip really begins.
First, however, it was time for some much needed relaxation. None of us slept particularly well over the last 3 nights of camping, and Brian suggested we get a late check-out. We both got check-out times at 2:00pm, and the girls took the hotel shuttle to the airport early this morning, so we had time for sleeping in and a late breakfast. As I was flipping through TV channels I ran across that religious channel–you know the one, with the crown and cros in the lower corner–and discovered where Moral Oral comes from:
We left the hotel around 1:30pm and stopped first for good Mexican food, so we really didn’t get on the road until close to 3:00pm. We took the interstate to Hood River, just east of Portland, then jumped off to hit the deliciously curvy roads this area has to offer. And not just curvy, but completely deserted, and recently resurfaced! We couldn’t have asked for better conditions, both above and below, and hit canyon after canyon like the Olson twins 
I was surprised at the number of LEO’s we ran into that day; not only did we get lasered on the interstate, but we were got radar’d at least twice on the the deserted backroads! Fortunately, we only hit them when coming out of canyons onto long straightaways, not in the twisty canyons when we were really ripping it up.
We had a few close calls with deer, and something that was possibly a young female elk or an antelope, darting off the roads as we approached, but fortunately we remained accident-free.
Our plan was for today to be a pretty short day, then get up early and do Crater Lake. We wanted to make it to Bend, OR, and in Madras, OR (about 50 miles short of our goal) we fueled up and started calling around Bend for a hotel. Everything was booked–turns out there was a major classic car show in Bend that weekend, and it would’ve been cool to see, but there were no rooms available anywhere in town. So instead we stayed at a Budget Inn in Madras. Now the Budget Inns around St. Louis go for about $30/night for a room; this one was almost $80/night with tax! At least we had a kitchenette, right?
We figured we were overcharged by about $30. But the rooms were relatively clean, and the bed was relatively comfy. I’ve stayed in worse! They also claimed to have free wireless internet, and they did–if you could maintain a signal! That’s where I posted the first two parts of this blog, and due to bad connections was up until 2:30am doing it! Blech! I think tomorrow is gonna hurt!
Sunday, August 5th
A Day of Lakes and LEO’s
What a great morning! I slept until 8:30am, and Brian went ‘out’ for breakfast–to the McDonald’s down the street. I pounded 2 Red Bulls purchased the day before, had a quick shower, and gulped down an egg McMuffin (shudder!) and we were packed and on the road by 10:00am.
We had to take US-97 to Bend, which was full of slow traffic and cops–no good passing opportunities. Before the trip started I had done some research on good cycling roads in Oregon, and in bend we went west on a CR-46, a county road that went into the foothills of Mt. Bachelor then turned south to wend through the foothills, and a number of lakes therein. We wound around Sparks Lake, Elk Lake, and the Crane Prairie Reservoir, among others. There were a TON of bicyclists on these roads, several sports cars, and the obligate SUV’s. The scenery was amazing, as were the smells of wildflowers and pine forest, but we were too busy having fun to stop for any pictures. The roads had lots of big, sweeping curves, a (very) few twisty spots, and the pavement was good. Nothing to write home about, but at least it was a lot emptier than US-97.
After a solid 3 hours of riding we finally entered Crater Lake National Park. The lake was spectacular, a very crisp, dark blue, and very clear. From above it was easy to see the bottom near the shore in spots. The worst part about Crater Lake was the commercialization. The buildings housing the buy-crap-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-Crater-Lake gift store and hugely overpriced cafeteria were very new, and very nice, and paid for with entrance fees, I’m sure. They also have a lodge, built before this was a national park, which is now contracted out to private companies to run for corporate profit on public lands, and rooms are like $200 per night. Ain’t privitization great?? We talked about riding the entire way around the lake, but after ~2 hours of dealing with asshats we were ready to just get out of the park. “But Clark, don’t you want to see the Grand Canyon?” “It’s great. Let’s go.”
From here it was on to Klamath Falls, where we took SR-140 across to Lakeview. Did I mention this state is full of cops? In the 100 miles from KF to Lakeview, we got tagged with POP radar 4 times. On a pretty deserted road, with very light traffic. WTF??
There was another reservoir on 140, and at Lakeview we picked up US-395. We also met a really interesting guy who grew up on the local reservation. Claimed to be an ex pro-football player who was able to sock money away, and now spends his time building bikes and traveling. He was trailering a 1959 Harley panhead; he claims to have rebuilt its engine 8 times, and said it had over 180,000 miles on it when he rebuilt it last. He claims to ride 50,000 miles a year–he also claimed to have set a speed record on a street bike, so I have no idea how many of his claims were true. I wanted to take a picture of his bike, but at that point my camera battery died. Oh no, I didn’t bring a charger!!! Argggghhh.
On 395 we passed 2 more lakes, one of which was enormous! For a lake this large (15 miles long and 5 miles at its widest point, according to MS Streets & Trips) there was absolutely NO development around it, and it wasn’t part of any national or state protected land. The hotel owner told me that it was a very alkaline like, and full of calcium–no fish lived there, and no one would want to swim in it anyway. Apparently several of the lakes in eastern Oregon are like that. The last two hours of the ride were pretty grueling: windy, no real scenery, and flat, straight, boring roads. Again had to worry about animals on the road–passed a whole bunch of free-range cattle, but at least they don’t dart in front of you. Did, however, scare up a coyote that took off into the scrub after running across the road in front of us.
After a 450+ mile day, we finally arrived in Burns, OR, at 9:00pm. Got a bite to eat at The Apple Peddler (kind of like Denny’s) then passed out. Tomorrow should be a shorter day, about 350 miles. We could sure use that!
Monday, August 6th
To Hell With Hell’s Canyon
We slept in again today. Brian never does that! He must be really tired! Ate the continental breakfast at the hotel–the owner’s wife, by the way, was just as crazy as the B&B owner. “We serve breakfast until 10:00. It’s 9:45 now, so you’d better hurry up!” “Don’t use that glass for juice!” “Don’t use that cup for coffee!” Must be something in the water. Maybe all that calcium? Note to self: get water softener for house….
The plan today was to head up to Baker City, then take SR-86 to Hell’s Canyon National Recreation Area. Leslie and I saw the Idaho side of Hell’s Canyon two years ago when we rode up the spine of Oregon, but never saw the canyon itself. I was really looking forward to this!
We though the roads going from Burns to the Canyon would be pretty boring, especially given the last two hours of yesterday’s ride. Were we ever surprised (and pleasantly so)! US-395 heads North from Burns, through a national forest. Once again the roads were smooth, curvy, and completely deserted. Oregon does a good job getting its share of federal highway dollars, that’s for sure! 395 took us to a town called John Day, where I stopped at a Radio Shack and picked up a charger for the camera. Set the camera to charging off the bike, and out we headed for Baker City. We followed US-26 east to SR-7, and both were again delightful roads that were pretty empty. We came down out of the mountains on SR-7 just outside of Baker City, where we stopped for lunch. As we packed up the bike and looked back at the mountains, we were amazed at the storm clouds that were now covering the route we took just an hour before!
Glad we left when we did! We wondered if we were going to catch rain that day, as it was clearly headed our way, so we jumped on the bikes to out-run it.
We picked up SR-86 out of Baker city to get to Hell’s Canyon–once again, a pretty empty, very curvy road in great condition. I could get used to this! We turned off 86 onto NF-39, the National Forest road that goes through the rec area. You can only get to the Snake River (which formed the Canyon) in a few spots, and there are only a few bridges that cross it, none of which are in the recreation area. However, there is an overlook 3 miles off of NF-39 that takes you to the rim of the Canyon, where you’re supposed to have an amazing view. To the overlook we go!
NF-39 was poorly maintained for the first half of the trip. Lots of big potholes and bad patch jobs, and animals all over (including several cows). So we took it carefully, and finally made it to the road going to the overlook–what?? NO!!!!
There was a fire crew working in the canyon, and they had all roads going to the overlook blocked off. Crap. Well, guess we’ll just have to come back.
At least the second half of 39 was maintained better, with mostly smooth surface and nice twisties. We left the rec area and picked up SR-3 in Joseph, OR. 3 started out pretty boring, and we geared up at Joseph when it looked like we were finally going to get rained on. 3 stayed pretty boring right up to the Washington border, where it suddenly got very, very fun.
Crossing into Washington, you descend into the northern extension of the Canyon, then climb out again a few miles later on the Washington side. What fun!
We finally rolled into our hotel in Lewiston, ID, grabbed some dinner and beers at the brew-pub, and when Brian said, “I could still drink more” we got directions from our waitress to a few good bars in walking distance. Several games of pool and a couple strong Red Bulls and vodka later, and we were drunk. Piss drunk. We stumbled back to the hotel, and Brian fell once, re-spraining his ankle. At least he didn’t feel it!
Tuesday, August 7th
Liquid Wrenches
Somebody please shoot me–the Screaming Meanie is now going off inside my head, and I can’t make it stop! Or, my head IS the screaming meanie! Either way, just shoot me!
We were both completely hung over; what the hell were we thinking? Oh wait, we weren’t. When I finally was able to tolerate light enough to open my eyes, I rolled over and saw it was 11:15am. Holy Crap! We were supposed to ride 500 miles today, and we still had laundry to do! Brian got up about half an hour before I did, and was already doing his laundry. I gobbled down several Tylenol and several glasses of water, then started packing and getting my laundry done. We finally left the hotel at 1:30pm, then got some breakfast at another local Denny’s-like place. We got on the road around 2:30pm–definitely throws a wrench in our plans!
So we decided to revamp our plan, and spend the night in Missoula, MT instead. We had to do the Spiral Highway first, a 10-mile stretch of road just north of Lewiston that is a jumble of twisties. It was a cool road, and kind of like being in an M.C. Escher painting–with all the twists and switchbacks, it was hard to tell which way other traffic was going! I saw another biker ahead of us, and it appeared that he was traveling toward us on the highway. Suddenly he’s gone–he was actually headed the same direction we were, but several switchbacks up.
Next it was on to US-12, one of the best motorcycle roads in the country. This road follows the Clearwater River along the Selway-Bitterroot Wilderness, and you will frequently see signs that say “Curvy road for next 52 miles” and not know where one “curvy road” stopped and the next started. I was looking forward to hitting this one hard on my sport bike, since I’d only ever done it on the Triumph.
Unfortunately, the weather threw another wrench in our plans. The highway was pretty wet, and it appears that we just missed getting dumped on–perhaps being horribly hung-over had its advantages? Conditions were like this for the vast majority of the 218 miles from Lewiston to Missoula, so we didn’t have that many opportunities to ‘wick it up’. But whenever one presented itself, we would take full advantage of it! Since I couldn’t hit most of it too hard, I did stop and take some pics; something I didn’t do the last time I was here, because the riding was just too damn fun!
In Missoula we again ate dinner at the MacKenzie River Pizza Company, but Lucy wasn’t on tonight–too bad, she was an awesome waitress. While eating we started calling around for hotel reservations, and found that Missoula was also totally booked! With the fires in the area, fire crews were taking up a lot of rooms, in addition to the normal business and tourist traffic, and we were forced to keep riding to Butte, MT, where we were able to find an available room. After 2 more hours of riding we were finally able to call it a night! We’ll have to get up early if we want to make it to the Bighorn National Forest tomorrow night!
Wednesday, August 8th
Passing and Passes
After 4 hours of sleep, a good hot shower, and a quick hotel breakfast, we were ready to head out. We had 440 miles to go today, at least 200 of it on twisty two-lane mountain roads. We were starting the last hurrah of the trip, and one of my favorite road segments in the country: Red Lodge, MT to Cody, WY via the Bear Tooth Pass and SR-296 (aka the Chief Joseph Scenic Highway). From Cody we would take US-14A into the Bighorn National forest outside of Lovell, WY and camp for the night.
First, though, we had to get there. 200 sweltering miles on I-90. Fun. We left at 8:30 this morning, and the ride was both boring and uneventful. 3 hours later we got off the interstate onto US-212 and headed south to Red Lodge. What a zoo! Red Lodge was full of RV’s and Harely’s, the two slowest kinds of vehicles on the road. A quick lunch, then it was up the Bear Tooth Pass. I never pull over for pictures here because I’m always having too much fun on the switchbacks. This time was almost spoiled with all the tools driving 20mph and gawking at the scenery. Hey, I have no problem if you want to look at the pretty sights–but get off the damn road, that’s what the turn-outs are for! Thankfully I have plenty of ponies under the tank, and I managed to get around everybody.
Once through the pass we were on the “Top of the World Road”, and it lives up to its name.
Following US-212 to its end will take you to the northeast entrance of Yellowstone National Park. But south of the pass this becomes a fairly boring road; a much better route is to take WY-296, the Chief Joseph Scenic Highway, which heads southeast to Cody, WY. This little gem is not well known, and has significantly less traffic than US-212. This is my third year in a row doing it, and it was definitely busier now than in previous years. This was mostly due to the “Sturgis Effect”, which causes all scenic roads in eastern Wyoming and Montana to become choked with Harley riders either going to or coming from Sturgis. Fortunately, most of them were pulled over at the scenic turn-outs, not even really looking at the scenery, but at each others’ bikes, and trying to “out-masculine” each other. I just don’t get it! Anyway, the road itself is simply fantastic, descending into and climbing out of canyon after canyon.
Once at Cody, we gassed up and bought plenty of water, since we didn’t know what would be available at the campsite. From here we only had an hour to go! The route to Bighorn National Forest is pretty boring, until you reach the foothills, that is. Brian camped here last year and said he knew a really secluded campground with wonderful views, and quiet since it was a mile or two from the highway. “Don’t worry,” he assured me, “it’s paved.” Yeah, sort of:
I know it’s hard to see, but those potholes are deep enough that my foot fits in up to the ankle. And they were everywhere. Fun. Don’t think I’ll be speeding down this road!
The campground really was fantastic, nestled in a box canyon.
I thought our night would be ruined when a family of about 20 pulled up in 4 SUV’s, with a gaggle of screaming kids who spent the next two hours riding their bikes all over and screaming incessantly. Fortunately, they were only here to hang out and have a fire, as they lived in Lovell. Once they left, peace and quiet returned to the campground. We ate our dehydrated meals (teriyaki chicken and dehydrated potatos, yum!), finished the last bottle of wine from LaVelle vinyards, as well as Brian’s scotch. We went to bed early, and we’re planning on getting up at 5:30am–we changed our plans for going home. We have a reservation in Sioux Falls tomorrow night, 660 miles from here, and we still have to go up into, then down out of, the Bighorn mountains!
Thursday, August 9th
“Are you guys going to Sturgis?”
Our original plan was to head south into southern Wyoming or northern Colorado, so as to avoid Sturgis on the way home. The annual Sturgis rally started last weekend and ends this weekend, and is a complete clusterf*ck for anyone just passing through. We planned to head south and take US-20 home across northern Nebraska, but after eating breakfast and packing this morning, we agreed that we were both dog tired and ready to be home. So I let Brian talk me into just taking I-90 home–right through Sturgis. Mental note: Brian is not, I repeat not, the Voice of Reason.
I’m glad we camped before going into the Bighorns last night, as that leaves us at least one last morning of fun riding before booking it for home. Highway 14A from Lovell to Sheridan, WY is the last extension of my favorite route, and like all the two-lane roads around here is full of pine forests, multiple canyons, and the twisty switchbacks that get you through it all. I’m really loving having a sport touring bike to ride these on, but now I’m longing for a lighter, zippier sport bike to carve these canyons. My FJR is about 625 lbs fully fueled and oiled, and that doesn’t count me or any of the luggage. I figure that with me and all my gear, I’m pushing close to 900 pounds. It’s surprisingly nimble for all that weight, but you definitely feel it pushing through the switchbacks. Still, I’ve managed to wear the tire from edge to edge on this trip; I have no chicken strips left, and I even picked up a scrape on the side of the kickstand from leaning so far over.
This is the highway where I hit the cattle grate in the apex of a switchback last year. It’s been completely resurfaced this year–and they removed the cattle grate. So we ‘wick it up’ hard on this run, since we know that from here on out it’s boring highway and we’re just booking for home. Good thing we left early; traffic was light, and most people pulled over into turn-outs to let us by.
An hour later and we’re rolling out of the mountains into Ranchette, WY, where we pick up I-90 and start the trek home. From here on out, every stop for fuel, food, or bathrooms included at least one person asking, “Are you guys (going to)/(coming from) Sturgis?” I swear I’m going to stick a fork through the throat of the next person who asks me that! Now we only have about 600 miles left, through eastern Wyoming and all of South Dakota.
Sturgis was a clusterf*ck, just as predicted. We pulled off to eat in Spearfish, SD, and getting back on the interstate was a nightmare. Just as we were approaching the on-ramp, police came to block off the intersection, and another parade of Harley’s comes through. The line stretched out of sight; fortunately I have a Garmin, and a quick ‘avoid next 2 miles’ re-routes us to another on-ramp 4 miles east of here. We pull around the blocked traffic, and easily get on at the next interchange. I love my Garmin!
The rest of the day was simply mind-numbing. Tempteratures reached 102 deg F, which we would counter by soaking our shirts in the sink whenever we stopped. Since SD is a dry state, the evaporative cooling really helped us stay somewhat comfortable. But the winds were ferocious, and it felt like driving through a blast furnace. At our last gas stop, we meet a 60-something fellow who has his left arm wrapped in ace bandages and 4×4 gauze pads. Turns out he hit a deer on his Harley. He was wearing absolutely no protective gear. The station attendant asked if he was wearing a helmet; “Nope,” he replied proudly, “it never even knocked my glasses off!” I said he should count himself lucky, and his buddy agreed–”I saw him go down, and I thought he was a goner for sure!” Then the ‘victim’ proceeds to say that he’s hit 4 other deer before, twice in a car and twice on a bike. God loves fools, drunks, and little children, and this asshat might be all three. I figured he’d have learned his lesson by now, and said as much–it went right over his head. Probably too many syllables.
We got into Sioux Falls, SD at 9:30pm. A quick dinner and we were in bed by 11:00pm. I only have 600 more miles to go!
Friday, August 10th
Wrestling with Road ‘Gators
No mommy, please! I promise I’ll be good! Don’t hurt me anymore! Please, I don’t want to get on the bike!!!
600 miles left and I am wiped out. My body’s tired, my mind is tired, and a good night of sleep just leaves me craving more sleep. Brian is feeling the same way. It’s been a good trip, not without its challenges, but we’re both ready to be home.
But I’m not looking forward to the ride. There are storms rolling in to Sioux City, so we’re up and on the road by 8:30. Here is where we part ways, as he heads for Madison and I head for Kansas City.
The ride was uneventful, for the most part. Temperatures climbed up to 97 degrees, and it just got increasingly humid the farther south I rode. I tried soaking my shirt when fueling up in K.C., and it helped a little, but not as much as in arid South Dakota. Coming into K.C. I had my scariest experience on the trip–a road ‘gator. You know, those bits of tire that semi’s leave all over the interstates like pigeon droppings. I was riding around them all day, when outside K.C. the car in front of me, hits his brakes, swerves right, then left, then straightens out. I’m watching his rear tires, when a road ‘gator pops out, and it was HUGE. It lay across my entire lane, onto half the shoulder, and a little into the lane next to me. There was no where to go to avoid it! I had just swerved around a smaller chunk, when all that was left was to straighten out, stand up a little in the saddle, and clench my sphincter. I’ve heard stories of other riders hitting these and ending up with flat tires and bent rims–I guess I was lucky. I pulled over at the next exit and checked tires and rims–all was well. Whew!
From K.C. it was only 240 miles to home, and this went by as quickly as it could. Had to keep my speed reasonable, as I was getting radar’d every 10-20 miles–clearly the domestic war on terror has resulted in nothing but increased police presence both at home and abroad. Funny, I don’t feel any safer….
So the miles rolled by, and I finally rolled into my driveway at 6:56pm. Final statistics:
Total time: 16 days, 2 hours, 56 minutes
Total distance: 6,440 miles
Lessons learned: Never drive through South Dakota when Sturgis is on. Or ever, for that matter. A twisty back road beats a faster route every time. And Brian is not the Voice of Reason.
So that’s it! You can check out the rest of the pictures from our last week on the trip at my Flickr account (just click on Flickr). Time to start planning snowboard trips for this winter, and our next motorcycle trip, next summer!
Fin.
