I believe in mercy killings.

literally.

I was up ’til 4:00am playing with this, and have been back on it all day.  Welcome to the world of social internet radio…. while there’s still internet radio, that is.

So I’m on my way home from work; Leslie called and asked me to stop at the store to pick up spaghetti noodles and Fresca (mmm, citrusy goodness). I’m coming home from BJC this evening, so I take I44 to Laclede Stn Rd. No grocery stores on a direct route. Shit.

‘Aha!’ I think to myself. ‘There’s a WallyWorld on the way home, and they have groceries; I’ll just stop there.’

While in WallyWorld I recall that hella-cool helicopter WB gave Alden for his B-Day. Alden said they had them at WallyWorld–mental note, must get ‘copter.

So I go searching for the ‘copter…. lots of crappy Transformers toys, no ‘copter. Grrr. Ooh boy, Robosapien. I had one of those-it sucked. Now they have a Robosapien Dinosaur… hmm, maybe I could terrorize Dexter with that. Hmmm, for $60, it could be just as crappy as the robot. Let’s keep looking.

I scour the toy isles to no avail. I decide it’s time to look for a new 360 game. Hmm, played that, that looks stupid, nothing new that looks any good. Ooh, what’s this? A lone Wii box in the Wii display? I thought those were still impossible to find.

I go find Todd the Troglodyte. “Yeah, we got a shipment in 3 days ago, that’s the last one. They’re flying off the shelves.” Shit. A quick check of eBay–they’re not cheap, but not selling for the $$$ they were a couple of months ago. But still going for ~$350; this is $250. Shit.

So of course I buy it, along with Wii Play and an extra nunchuck–$340 with tax, still better than ebay. It’s sitting on the dining room table right now–I’m in the same position I was when I bought the 360. Take it back, sell it on eBay, or open it and play the fucking thing. What’s your vote?

On another note; the Maplehood WallyWorld is really the best place to find electronics. Not so ghetto they don’t carry the good stuff, but ghetto enough that most of the obligate-mouth-breathing patrons can’t afford it. This, BTW, is the same place I found the 360 when everyone else was sold out and they were going for $800 on eBay.

Saturday, August 4th
Time For Some R&R

This is it! This is the part of the trip I’ve really been looking forward to! Obligatory sight-seeing is out of the way, the girls are safely on their way home, nothing but curvy roads and high speeds ahead! Up until now we’ve either been hauling ass to get somewhere, or meandering down the Pacific coast with ladies in tow, camping and taking it slow. The focus has been on sightseeing, and we’ve seen plenty, but now is when the motorcycle trip really begins.

First, however, it was time for some much needed relaxation. None of us slept particularly well over the last 3 nights of camping, and Brian suggested we get a late check-out. We both got check-out times at 2:00pm, and the girls took the hotel shuttle to the airport early this morning, so we had time for sleeping in and a late breakfast. As I was flipping through TV channels I ran across that religious channel–you know the one, with the crown and cros in the lower corner–and discovered where Moral Oral comes from:

We left the hotel around 1:30pm and stopped first for good Mexican food, so we really didn’t get on the road until close to 3:00pm. We took the interstate to Hood River, just east of Portland, then jumped off to hit the deliciously curvy roads this area has to offer. And not just curvy, but completely deserted, and recently resurfaced! We couldn’t have asked for better conditions, both above and below, and hit canyon after canyon like the Olson twins

I was surprised at the number of LEO’s we ran into that day; not only did we get lasered on the interstate, but we were got radar’d at least twice on the the deserted backroads! Fortunately, we only hit them when coming out of canyons onto long straightaways, not in the twisty canyons when we were really ripping it up.


We had a few close calls with deer, and something that was possibly a young female elk or an antelope, darting off the roads as we approached, but fortunately we remained accident-free.

Our plan was for today to be a pretty short day, then get up early and do Crater Lake. We wanted to make it to Bend, OR, and in Madras, OR (about 50 miles short of our goal) we fueled up and started calling around Bend for a hotel. Everything was booked–turns out there was a major classic car show in Bend that weekend, and it would’ve been cool to see, but there were no rooms available anywhere in town. So instead we stayed at a Budget Inn in Madras. Now the Budget Inns around St. Louis go for about $30/night for a room; this one was almost $80/night with tax! At least we had a kitchenette, right?


We figured we were overcharged by about $30. But the rooms were relatively clean, and the bed was relatively comfy. I’ve stayed in worse! They also claimed to have free wireless internet, and they did–if you could maintain a signal! That’s where I posted the first two parts of this blog, and due to bad connections was up until 2:30am doing it! Blech! I think tomorrow is gonna hurt!

Sunday, August 5th
A Day of Lakes and LEO’s

What a great morning! I slept until 8:30am, and Brian went ‘out’ for breakfast–to the McDonald’s down the street. I pounded 2 Red Bulls purchased the day before, had a quick shower, and gulped down an egg McMuffin (shudder!) and we were packed and on the road by 10:00am.

We had to take US-97 to Bend, which was full of slow traffic and cops–no good passing opportunities. Before the trip started I had done some research on good cycling roads in Oregon, and in bend we went west on a CR-46, a county road that went into the foothills of Mt. Bachelor then turned south to wend through the foothills, and a number of lakes therein. We wound around Sparks Lake, Elk Lake, and the Crane Prairie Reservoir, among others. There were a TON of bicyclists on these roads, several sports cars, and the obligate SUV’s. The scenery was amazing, as were the smells of wildflowers and pine forest, but we were too busy having fun to stop for any pictures. The roads had lots of big, sweeping curves, a (very) few twisty spots, and the pavement was good. Nothing to write home about, but at least it was a lot emptier than US-97.

After a solid 3 hours of riding we finally entered Crater Lake National Park. The lake was spectacular, a very crisp, dark blue, and very clear. From above it was easy to see the bottom near the shore in spots. The worst part about Crater Lake was the commercialization. The buildings housing the buy-crap-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-Crater-Lake gift store and hugely overpriced cafeteria were very new, and very nice, and paid for with entrance fees, I’m sure. They also have a lodge, built before this was a national park, which is now contracted out to private companies to run for corporate profit on public lands, and rooms are like $200 per night. Ain’t privitization great?? We talked about riding the entire way around the lake, but after ~2 hours of dealing with asshats we were ready to just get out of the park. “But Clark, don’t you want to see the Grand Canyon?” “It’s great. Let’s go.”

From here it was on to Klamath Falls, where we took SR-140 across to Lakeview. Did I mention this state is full of cops? In the 100 miles from KF to Lakeview, we got tagged with POP radar 4 times. On a pretty deserted road, with very light traffic. WTF??

There was another reservoir on 140, and at Lakeview we picked up US-395. We also met a really interesting guy who grew up on the local reservation. Claimed to be an ex pro-football player who was able to sock money away, and now spends his time building bikes and traveling. He was trailering a 1959 Harley panhead; he claims to have rebuilt its engine 8 times, and said it had over 180,000 miles on it when he rebuilt it last. He claims to ride 50,000 miles a year–he also claimed to have set a speed record on a street bike, so I have no idea how many of his claims were true. I wanted to take a picture of his bike, but at that point my camera battery died. Oh no, I didn’t bring a charger!!! Argggghhh.

On 395 we passed 2 more lakes, one of which was enormous! For a lake this large (15 miles long and 5 miles at its widest point, according to MS Streets & Trips) there was absolutely NO development around it, and it wasn’t part of any national or state protected land. The hotel owner told me that it was a very alkaline like, and full of calcium–no fish lived there, and no one would want to swim in it anyway. Apparently several of the lakes in eastern Oregon are like that. The last two hours of the ride were pretty grueling: windy, no real scenery, and flat, straight, boring roads. Again had to worry about animals on the road–passed a whole bunch of free-range cattle, but at least they don’t dart in front of you. Did, however, scare up a coyote that took off into the scrub after running across the road in front of us.

After a 450+ mile day, we finally arrived in Burns, OR, at 9:00pm. Got a bite to eat at The Apple Peddler (kind of like Denny’s) then passed out. Tomorrow should be a shorter day, about 350 miles. We could sure use that!

Monday, August 6th
To Hell With Hell’s Canyon

We slept in again today. Brian never does that! He must be really tired! Ate the continental breakfast at the hotel–the owner’s wife, by the way, was just as crazy as the B&B owner. “We serve breakfast until 10:00. It’s 9:45 now, so you’d better hurry up!” “Don’t use that glass for juice!” “Don’t use that cup for coffee!” Must be something in the water. Maybe all that calcium? Note to self: get water softener for house….

The plan today was to head up to Baker City, then take SR-86 to Hell’s Canyon National Recreation Area. Leslie and I saw the Idaho side of Hell’s Canyon two years ago when we rode up the spine of Oregon, but never saw the canyon itself. I was really looking forward to this!

We though the roads going from Burns to the Canyon would be pretty boring, especially given the last two hours of yesterday’s ride. Were we ever surprised (and pleasantly so)! US-395 heads North from Burns, through a national forest. Once again the roads were smooth, curvy, and completely deserted. Oregon does a good job getting its share of federal highway dollars, that’s for sure! 395 took us to a town called John Day, where I stopped at a Radio Shack and picked up a charger for the camera. Set the camera to charging off the bike, and out we headed for Baker City. We followed US-26 east to SR-7, and both were again delightful roads that were pretty empty. We came down out of the mountains on SR-7 just outside of Baker City, where we stopped for lunch. As we packed up the bike and looked back at the mountains, we were amazed at the storm clouds that were now covering the route we took just an hour before!

Glad we left when we did! We wondered if we were going to catch rain that day, as it was clearly headed our way, so we jumped on the bikes to out-run it.

We picked up SR-86 out of Baker city to get to Hell’s Canyon–once again, a pretty empty, very curvy road in great condition. I could get used to this! We turned off 86 onto NF-39, the National Forest road that goes through the rec area. You can only get to the Snake River (which formed the Canyon) in a few spots, and there are only a few bridges that cross it, none of which are in the recreation area. However, there is an overlook 3 miles off of NF-39 that takes you to the rim of the Canyon, where you’re supposed to have an amazing view. To the overlook we go!

NF-39 was poorly maintained for the first half of the trip. Lots of big potholes and bad patch jobs, and animals all over (including several cows). So we took it carefully, and finally made it to the road going to the overlook–what?? NO!!!!

There was a fire crew working in the canyon, and they had all roads going to the overlook blocked off. Crap. Well, guess we’ll just have to come back.

At least the second half of 39 was maintained better, with mostly smooth surface and nice twisties. We left the rec area and picked up SR-3 in Joseph, OR. 3 started out pretty boring, and we geared up at Joseph when it looked like we were finally going to get rained on. 3 stayed pretty boring right up to the Washington border, where it suddenly got very, very fun.

Crossing into Washington, you descend into the northern extension of the Canyon, then climb out again a few miles later on the Washington side. What fun!

We finally rolled into our hotel in Lewiston, ID, grabbed some dinner and beers at the brew-pub, and when Brian said, “I could still drink more” we got directions from our waitress to a few good bars in walking distance. Several games of pool and a couple strong Red Bulls and vodka later, and we were drunk. Piss drunk. We stumbled back to the hotel, and Brian fell once, re-spraining his ankle. At least he didn’t feel it!

Tuesday, August 7th
Liquid Wrenches

Somebody please shoot me–the Screaming Meanie is now going off inside my head, and I can’t make it stop! Or, my head IS the screaming meanie! Either way, just shoot me!

We were both completely hung over; what the hell were we thinking? Oh wait, we weren’t. When I finally was able to tolerate light enough to open my eyes, I rolled over and saw it was 11:15am. Holy Crap! We were supposed to ride 500 miles today, and we still had laundry to do! Brian got up about half an hour before I did, and was already doing his laundry. I gobbled down several Tylenol and several glasses of water, then started packing and getting my laundry done. We finally left the hotel at 1:30pm, then got some breakfast at another local Denny’s-like place. We got on the road around 2:30pm–definitely throws a wrench in our plans!

So we decided to revamp our plan, and spend the night in Missoula, MT instead. We had to do the Spiral Highway first, a 10-mile stretch of road just north of Lewiston that is a jumble of twisties. It was a cool road, and kind of like being in an M.C. Escher painting–with all the twists and switchbacks, it was hard to tell which way other traffic was going! I saw another biker ahead of us, and it appeared that he was traveling toward us on the highway. Suddenly he’s gone–he was actually headed the same direction we were, but several switchbacks up.

Next it was on to US-12, one of the best motorcycle roads in the country. This road follows the Clearwater River along the Selway-Bitterroot Wilderness, and you will frequently see signs that say “Curvy road for next 52 miles” and not know where one “curvy road” stopped and the next started. I was looking forward to hitting this one hard on my sport bike, since I’d only ever done it on the Triumph.

Unfortunately, the weather threw another wrench in our plans. The highway was pretty wet, and it appears that we just missed getting dumped on–perhaps being horribly hung-over had its advantages? Conditions were like this for the vast majority of the 218 miles from Lewiston to Missoula, so we didn’t have that many opportunities to ‘wick it up’. But whenever one presented itself, we would take full advantage of it! Since I couldn’t hit most of it too hard, I did stop and take some pics; something I didn’t do the last time I was here, because the riding was just too damn fun!

In Missoula we again ate dinner at the MacKenzie River Pizza Company, but Lucy wasn’t on tonight–too bad, she was an awesome waitress. While eating we started calling around for hotel reservations, and found that Missoula was also totally booked! With the fires in the area, fire crews were taking up a lot of rooms, in addition to the normal business and tourist traffic, and we were forced to keep riding to Butte, MT, where we were able to find an available room. After 2 more hours of riding we were finally able to call it a night! We’ll have to get up early if we want to make it to the Bighorn National Forest tomorrow night!

Wednesday, August 8th
Passing and Passes

After 4 hours of sleep, a good hot shower, and a quick hotel breakfast, we were ready to head out. We had 440 miles to go today, at least 200 of it on twisty two-lane mountain roads. We were starting the last hurrah of the trip, and one of my favorite road segments in the country: Red Lodge, MT to Cody, WY via the Bear Tooth Pass and SR-296 (aka the Chief Joseph Scenic Highway). From Cody we would take US-14A into the Bighorn National forest outside of Lovell, WY and camp for the night.

First, though, we had to get there. 200 sweltering miles on I-90. Fun. We left at 8:30 this morning, and the ride was both boring and uneventful. 3 hours later we got off the interstate onto US-212 and headed south to Red Lodge. What a zoo! Red Lodge was full of RV’s and Harely’s, the two slowest kinds of vehicles on the road. A quick lunch, then it was up the Bear Tooth Pass. I never pull over for pictures here because I’m always having too much fun on the switchbacks. This time was almost spoiled with all the tools driving 20mph and gawking at the scenery. Hey, I have no problem if you want to look at the pretty sights–but get off the damn road, that’s what the turn-outs are for! Thankfully I have plenty of ponies under the tank, and I managed to get around everybody.

Once through the pass we were on the “Top of the World Road”, and it lives up to its name.

Following US-212 to its end will take you to the northeast entrance of Yellowstone National Park. But south of the pass this becomes a fairly boring road; a much better route is to take WY-296, the Chief Joseph Scenic Highway, which heads southeast to Cody, WY. This little gem is not well known, and has significantly less traffic than US-212. This is my third year in a row doing it, and it was definitely busier now than in previous years. This was mostly due to the “Sturgis Effect”, which causes all scenic roads in eastern Wyoming and Montana to become choked with Harley riders either going to or coming from Sturgis. Fortunately, most of them were pulled over at the scenic turn-outs, not even really looking at the scenery, but at each others’ bikes, and trying to “out-masculine” each other. I just don’t get it! Anyway, the road itself is simply fantastic, descending into and climbing out of canyon after canyon.

Once at Cody, we gassed up and bought plenty of water, since we didn’t know what would be available at the campsite. From here we only had an hour to go! The route to Bighorn National Forest is pretty boring, until you reach the foothills, that is. Brian camped here last year and said he knew a really secluded campground with wonderful views, and quiet since it was a mile or two from the highway. “Don’t worry,” he assured me, “it’s paved.” Yeah, sort of:

I know it’s hard to see, but those potholes are deep enough that my foot fits in up to the ankle. And they were everywhere. Fun. Don’t think I’ll be speeding down this road!

The campground really was fantastic, nestled in a box canyon.

I thought our night would be ruined when a family of about 20 pulled up in 4 SUV’s, with a gaggle of screaming kids who spent the next two hours riding their bikes all over and screaming incessantly. Fortunately, they were only here to hang out and have a fire, as they lived in Lovell. Once they left, peace and quiet returned to the campground. We ate our dehydrated meals (teriyaki chicken and dehydrated potatos, yum!), finished the last bottle of wine from LaVelle vinyards, as well as Brian’s scotch. We went to bed early, and we’re planning on getting up at 5:30am–we changed our plans for going home. We have a reservation in Sioux Falls tomorrow night, 660 miles from here, and we still have to go up into, then down out of, the Bighorn mountains!

Thursday, August 9th
“Are you guys going to Sturgis?”

Our original plan was to head south into southern Wyoming or northern Colorado, so as to avoid Sturgis on the way home. The annual Sturgis rally started last weekend and ends this weekend, and is a complete clusterf*ck for anyone just passing through. We planned to head south and take US-20 home across northern Nebraska, but after eating breakfast and packing this morning, we agreed that we were both dog tired and ready to be home. So I let Brian talk me into just taking I-90 home–right through Sturgis. Mental note: Brian is not, I repeat not, the Voice of Reason.

I’m glad we camped before going into the Bighorns last night, as that leaves us at least one last morning of fun riding before booking it for home. Highway 14A from Lovell to Sheridan, WY is the last extension of my favorite route, and like all the two-lane roads around here is full of pine forests, multiple canyons, and the twisty switchbacks that get you through it all. I’m really loving having a sport touring bike to ride these on, but now I’m longing for a lighter, zippier sport bike to carve these canyons. My FJR is about 625 lbs fully fueled and oiled, and that doesn’t count me or any of the luggage. I figure that with me and all my gear, I’m pushing close to 900 pounds. It’s surprisingly nimble for all that weight, but you definitely feel it pushing through the switchbacks. Still, I’ve managed to wear the tire from edge to edge on this trip; I have no chicken strips left, and I even picked up a scrape on the side of the kickstand from leaning so far over.

This is the highway where I hit the cattle grate in the apex of a switchback last year. It’s been completely resurfaced this year–and they removed the cattle grate. So we ‘wick it up’ hard on this run, since we know that from here on out it’s boring highway and we’re just booking for home. Good thing we left early; traffic was light, and most people pulled over into turn-outs to let us by.

An hour later and we’re rolling out of the mountains into Ranchette, WY, where we pick up I-90 and start the trek home. From here on out, every stop for fuel, food, or bathrooms included at least one person asking, “Are you guys (going to)/(coming from) Sturgis?” I swear I’m going to stick a fork through the throat of the next person who asks me that! Now we only have about 600 miles left, through eastern Wyoming and all of South Dakota.

Sturgis was a clusterf*ck, just as predicted. We pulled off to eat in Spearfish, SD, and getting back on the interstate was a nightmare. Just as we were approaching the on-ramp, police came to block off the intersection, and another parade of Harley’s comes through. The line stretched out of sight; fortunately I have a Garmin, and a quick ‘avoid next 2 miles’ re-routes us to another on-ramp 4 miles east of here. We pull around the blocked traffic, and easily get on at the next interchange. I love my Garmin!

The rest of the day was simply mind-numbing. Tempteratures reached 102 deg F, which we would counter by soaking our shirts in the sink whenever we stopped. Since SD is a dry state, the evaporative cooling really helped us stay somewhat comfortable. But the winds were ferocious, and it felt like driving through a blast furnace. At our last gas stop, we meet a 60-something fellow who has his left arm wrapped in ace bandages and 4×4 gauze pads. Turns out he hit a deer on his Harley. He was wearing absolutely no protective gear. The station attendant asked if he was wearing a helmet; “Nope,” he replied proudly, “it never even knocked my glasses off!” I said he should count himself lucky, and his buddy agreed–”I saw him go down, and I thought he was a goner for sure!” Then the ‘victim’ proceeds to say that he’s hit 4 other deer before, twice in a car and twice on a bike. God loves fools, drunks, and little children, and this asshat might be all three. I figured he’d have learned his lesson by now, and said as much–it went right over his head. Probably too many syllables.

We got into Sioux Falls, SD at 9:30pm. A quick dinner and we were in bed by 11:00pm. I only have 600 more miles to go!

Friday, August 10th
Wrestling with Road ‘Gators

No mommy, please! I promise I’ll be good! Don’t hurt me anymore! Please, I don’t want to get on the bike!!!

600 miles left and I am wiped out. My body’s tired, my mind is tired, and a good night of sleep just leaves me craving more sleep. Brian is feeling the same way. It’s been a good trip, not without its challenges, but we’re both ready to be home.

But I’m not looking forward to the ride. There are storms rolling in to Sioux City, so we’re up and on the road by 8:30. Here is where we part ways, as he heads for Madison and I head for Kansas City.

The ride was uneventful, for the most part. Temperatures climbed up to 97 degrees, and it just got increasingly humid the farther south I rode. I tried soaking my shirt when fueling up in K.C., and it helped a little, but not as much as in arid South Dakota. Coming into K.C. I had my scariest experience on the trip–a road ‘gator. You know, those bits of tire that semi’s leave all over the interstates like pigeon droppings. I was riding around them all day, when outside K.C. the car in front of me, hits his brakes, swerves right, then left, then straightens out. I’m watching his rear tires, when a road ‘gator pops out, and it was HUGE. It lay across my entire lane, onto half the shoulder, and a little into the lane next to me. There was no where to go to avoid it! I had just swerved around a smaller chunk, when all that was left was to straighten out, stand up a little in the saddle, and clench my sphincter. I’ve heard stories of other riders hitting these and ending up with flat tires and bent rims–I guess I was lucky. I pulled over at the next exit and checked tires and rims–all was well. Whew!

From K.C. it was only 240 miles to home, and this went by as quickly as it could. Had to keep my speed reasonable, as I was getting radar’d every 10-20 miles–clearly the domestic war on terror has resulted in nothing but increased police presence both at home and abroad. Funny, I don’t feel any safer….

So the miles rolled by, and I finally rolled into my driveway at 6:56pm. Final statistics:

Total time: 16 days, 2 hours, 56 minutes

Total distance: 6,440 miles

Lessons learned: Never drive through South Dakota when Sturgis is on. Or ever, for that matter. A twisty back road beats a faster route every time. And Brian is not the Voice of Reason.

So that’s it! You can check out the rest of the pictures from our last week on the trip at my Flickr account (just click on Flickr). Time to start planning snowboard trips for this winter, and our next motorcycle trip, next summer!

Fin.

Saturday, July 28th
We made it!

Finally! Eastern Washington was pretty boring, but riding down the mountain range was fun. After 4 hours of dodging cops (multiple radar blips, POP warnings, and a couple of laser hits!) we rolled past Rainier and down into Seattle! How lovely! Traffic was busy, but not too bad; Brian thought it was bad for a Saturday. But there was some kind of fair going on down by the Space Needle, right where we were staying. Leslie was waiting for us at the hotel; Laurie’s flight got delayed (again!). A little hiccup with getting the rooms (some problem with the reservation system, but Hampton Inns took care of us), and then we had beds and a shower. Cleaned up, walked around the Space Needle, then walked to dinner–sushi, and two bottles of Okinoroshi sake–yum! Met one of Brian’s ex-coworkers, Michael, and his wife Sigal, both from Israel, and had a fun dinner discussing politics and philosophy while getting increasingly intoxicated. What a night! Michael drove us back to our hotel, where we promptly crashed out.

Sunday, July 29th
Sisyphus Heads for Mount Olympus

I slept in today, it felt GREAT! Brian and Laurie didn’t expect I would get up before noon, so I didn’t feel bad waking up at 10:00am. Cleaned up, ate breakfast, and by noon we were headed out for the ferries. Driving down by the Fish Market was a total zoo, and it took probably 30 minutes to go about 2 miles. Took the ferry across to Bainbridge Island

then it was all highway out to Port Angeles. We stopped at the Dungeness National Wildlife Refuge for a hike down to the ocean.

We ate dinner at the Crab House in Port Angeles, and stumbled on a sand art contest–pretty cool stuff.

Then we headed to our campground in the Elwah valley and set up next to a gurgling river–neat place! No firewood to be found, but that was fine since we were dog tired. We’ll do more tomorrow!

Monday, July 30th
Camping Near the Ocean

I slept in again–my body is craving it after the hard trip out here. Brian and Laurie got up early to see the tidepools, but sleeping sounded better to me. Then Brian’s iPhone locked up (hehehe) and when connecting it to his PowerBook the computer kept demanding internet access before it could fix it. So Brian and Laurie packed up and headed for Port Angeles to find WiFi access, and we trailed behind them about 30 minutes later. After lunch we rode up to Hurricane Ridge–the clouds hanging on it made me think it was going to be foggy, but by the time we got up there it had all cleared off. We hiked around a couple of trails, wearing most of our gear and carrying all the electronics. I think I’m going to buy that PacSafe tank bag, so I can leave my crap on the bike when hiking.

After seeing some deer and goats, we headed back down and took a ride out to the Mora campground, located in a stretch of the park along the coast. We dropped the girls off to start setting up camp, then headed to a convenience mart we passed on the way in to pick up snacks, beer, and stuff for s’mores. Had a great night by the fire drinking and eating–this is what vacation is all about! Right up until Brian stepped in a hole and sprained his ankle, that is. Immediately a knot swelled up the size of a golf ball, and Brian figured he wasn’t going to be hiking anymore for a few days.

Tuesday, July 31st
Getting Old Sucks

I slept in again–go figure. Not quite as bad as yesterday. Leslie got up early and went for a walk along the beach. After waking, cleaning up and eating breakfast, we headed out to the Hoh Rain Forest in the park. Never seen that much moss before! The trees were cool, and it was nice hanging out by the river, but I expected to be, well, rainier than it was. Or at least foggy.

Anyway, we hiked some nice trails while Brian hung out at the visitor center. Then when putting my riding gear back on, I managed to wrench my back somewhow. I strained it last week during my weightlifting routine–I had gone up on all my weights, and I guess I went up too far, so I stopped working out for the few days before the trip and it was getting better. Then I somehow wrench it, and it began spasming and cramping. I hate getting old. So we took it easy the rest of the night, and I put some chemical cold packs on it. Wasn’t feeling too bad by the time we went to bed, but I’m sure the scotch Brian brought along helped with that! Another nice night eating smores by the fire, and in bed by around midnight.

Wednesday, August 1st
Bye bye, Washington!

I woke up in a lot of pain today. The muscles in my back knotted up during the night, and I woke up every time I rolled over. Getting dressed and packing the campsite was not fun, and took 2-3 times longer than usual. Every time I bent down or picked something up, my back would seize and cramp. After we got our site packed up, we headed into Forks for breakfast. While there, I took full advantage of my Washington license (finally!) and called in a script of muscle relaxers for myself to the local pharmacy. About 30 minutes after taking one, my back finally loosened up enough to ride.

We headed down the Washington coast, stopping in at Ruby Beach. I finally got a taste of life in the Pacific Northwest, as the temps were in the mid-50’s and there was heavy fog coming in off the ocean.

Then we boogied for Oregon. Brian told us there really wouldn’t be anything to see in southern Washington, and he was absolutely right. Booooooring. But he assured us that the Oregon coast was a whole different story, and we had reservations at a B&B in Arch Cape to look forward to–a nice break after several days of camping! We rode across the windy bridges into Astoria, OR, and pulled over to connect with a friend of his from Madison who now lives in Hood River, OR. Scott rides, too, and he and his wife pulled up on their Honda Interceptor. After the meets & greets, we headed down to Ecola State Park for a quick hike and some pics.

As we returned to our bikes, a herd of elk happened by, having dinner and posing for us.

Finally we ate dinner in Cannon Beach (brew pub, of course) and found our B&B. I had read in reviews of this place that the house was beautiful and the food fantastic, but the owner was crazy. They were dead on. Rule after rule, “Coffee is only to be poured in the red mugs, tea in the clear mugs. If you drink decaf, you need to see me in the kitchen for a special mug.” Fortunately, it is my job to deal with crazy people, so I handled her well. At breakfast the next day she called me “charming”. Am I good, or what?? Anyway, while Leslie, Brian and I checked in, the rest of the troupe headed down to the beach to catch the sunset. What with her excessive anal rule-listing and extended check-in, we wound up missing the sunset–good thing Scott got pictures! One final hurrah on the beach and it was off to bed.

Thursday, August 2nd
Riding the Oregon Coast

Totally, completely crazy, and that IS my professional opinion, but our host made a fantastic 3-course breakfast. We small-talked with some of the other guests (worst thing about staying in a B&B), then packed up the gear and headed out–to more parks. Oregon has made about 90% of its shoreline public land, so there were a great deal of beaches to see–so many that we only stopped at a few. After a while, one beach started to look like all the others.

After a morning of beaches, we drove down to Tilamook, OR, home of the Tilamook County Creamer’s Association, for some yummy gourmet cheese and ice cream. The “factory tour” was pretty boring, more a display of their packaging facilities than the actual cheese-making process, but the food was good. A final picture in the parking lot, and Scott had to head back home to go to work.

Shortly thereafter the weather took another turn to fog, misty rain, and upper-50’s temps. We didn’t stop at very many places after that, since we wanted to make decent time to our final campsite at Jessie Honeyman State Park. We did stop for dinner at a quaint little seafood shack called Mo’s; apparently a favorite among the locals. This one was right on the ocean, and we spotted some whales around a rock shoal while gearing up for the last part of our ride.

Unfortunately they didn’t surface for very long, and it was hard to catch them on camera. Then Brian discovered that his left front turn signal was broken in the parking lot. You could see glue reside on the end of the stalk, so we figured that the guy who sold it to him must have broken and glued it at some point and didn’t bother to mention it. Instead he gets to find out on a cross-country trip, when the glue finally fails! Fortunately, I had some 5-minute epoxy and duct tape, and we had it all patched up in about 10 minutes. Not pretty, but ride-able. A short stint later and we were in our campground, but found the wood kiosk closed for the night. Laurie went searching for someone who would sell us spare wood for a fire, but to no avail. So instead she resorted to toasting marshmallows for smores above Brian’s candle-lantern! Clearly a desperate smore-junkie. With beer and scotch to warm us, we called it a night.

Friday, August 3rd
Sand, Wine, and Rush-hour Hell

Slept in again, and had a lazy morning eating breakfast and cleaning up. Leslie couldn’t take a shower due to all the women and girls standing in line–the campground was completely full. She barely made it to the sink to brush her teeth, and came back seething about all the girls and women with curling irons and hair straighteners, and coolers (yes, coolers) full of makeup! Why camp?

We didn’t have much planned for the day, so we hiked out to the Oregon Dunes National Recreation area. The sand was fun to hike in, if difficult to climb the dunes,

but our vision was obscured by the fog again rolling in from the sea–and we were 2 miles inland!

We hung out for a little while, watching the kids go sandboarding down the dunes (and immediately began discussing our next snowboard trip!), when families started heading back to camp–the fog was rolling in fast, and was pretty thick. Laurie was bummed that we didn’t rent sandboards, so thought she could get the same effect by jumping on the dune slope with the idea that she would slide down the hill.

Since that plan didn’t work out very well, she decided to roll down the hill instead, filling her pockets and clothing with sand. At least she had fun!

From here we headed across the Cascades, looking for wineries. We headed to the first one we could find in our GPS, but the GPS apparently took us to the back side of the vineyard, and we weren’t sure we had the right place. So we skipped that one and headed up the road, worried that we wouldn’t be able to find another. Silly us. We were in the Willamette Valley, where you can throw a stick in any direction and find a vineyard. We stopped at LaVelle Wineries and had a tasting, then bought 3 bottles between us. We planned on stopping at several other vineyards on the way to Portland, but traffic was moving slower than we planned, and the hour was getting late, so we decided to just boogey for Portland. Then we hit what I can only describe as the worst traffic jam I have ever experienced. It took us no less than 90 minutes to cross a distance of about 20 miles, due to construction, accidents, and dipshit drivers. And it wasn’t just our interstate–every highway we passed under or over was just as jammed. Leslie said it was the perfect ending to her trip–by the time we hit the hotel, she wanted to go home. A good experience to teach me that I never, ever want to live in Portland. Scott had told us traffic in Portland was bad, but I had no idea. We finally got checked into our hotel around 7:00pm, and decided to just order in pizza–we had wine to drink! We bummed in the hotel and crashed out early. I took advantage of the WiFi to upload all our pictures thus far; you can view them on my Flickr account.

Leslie’s flight flew out on Saturday at 7:45am, so she was out of the hotel by 6:15. Laurie flew out shortly thereafter, so from here on out its just us boys! I’m really looking forward to this last bit–I have a whole week to get home, driving through some of the twistiest, scenic roads in the country!

I’ve said time and time again that I was going to post a report of my trips.  I thought having a PPC would be good enough, but what a pain in the ass typing an entire blog on that thing.  This year, Alden was kind enough to lend me his ThinkPad, so now I have no excuse.  This part of the trip contains no pictures–we were too busy hauling ass.

Wednesday, July 25th
Seattle or Bust!

Left work later than expected–of course.  Ran home, finished packing, eating lunch, loading the bike, and by 4:00pm was on the road.  Boring drive across Missouri; well, except for the a$$hat in Columbia–a bus wasn’t paying attention and tried coming into my lane.  Everybody else noticed the flashing headlight modulators–what the hell???  Stopped shortly after Columbia to pick up my new favorite alarm clock– a Screaming Meanie!  Strong enough to wake the dead!

It was fun driving through K.C. with the headlight modulators, which flash my brights on and off at a very high rate.  Definitely got noticed; several people slowed down and pulled over, lots of heads turning around to see if I was a cop.  Got gas north of K.C. and took a break–got started again at about 9:00pm, when getting onto the interstate I pass a guy strolling along on the interstate with a knapsack…. and a life-sized cross.  I shit you not.  Here he is, happily strolling along I-29, I’m sure telling all his friends that he’s going to do the same walk that Jesus did or some such shit.  Problem was, his cross looked like it was made of 1″x6″ boards.  C’mon, at least carry something that could hold your weight if I nailed you to it!  And let me test it on you just to make sure…. >:)

Got into to Omaha around 11:30 and stayed with Leslie’s brother-in-law.  Haven’t seen Mark in a while, and we stayed up talking until 3:30am!  Stupid monkey!

Thursday, July 26th
Performance Achievement Awards, South Dakota, and other Unpleasant Things

Woke up at 7:30am, thinking the house was on fire!  Nope, just the Screaming Meanie–these things sure do work!  Took as hot a shower as I could possibly stand.  Plan was to be on the road by 8:30am, but Mark woke up too–said he could hear the Screaming Meanie 3 rooms away.  I think Mark’s lonely, as his wife has been out of town for a week.  So we drank coffee and talked while I slowly packed the bike.  I pack slowly enough as it is, but with only ~4 hours of sleep my brain works like it’s moving through molassas.  So I didn’t actually get on the road until about 9:30am, and I was supposed to meet Brian in Sioux Falls by 11:00am.  Then I hit some construction on I-29, and was getting frustrated, when I pass a speed trap–and got caught.  I’m sure I wasn’t doing more than 75, but he claimed I was timed by an aircraft going 83mph–complete BS.  I talked as smoothly as I could, but he gave me a ticket for 80 in a 70mph zone.  Bastard.

Hooked up with Brian around 12:30 and ate lunch, then it was time to drive into the hairdryer (aka South Dakota).  Hot, dry, into the wind the whole day–it sucked.  Or  blew.  Take your pick.  The only upside was that while the temps were in the mid-90’s, it had been 110 two days before.  Ate dinner in Rapid City, discussed making it to Sheridan–I’m glad we didn’t try!  We found out later that all hotels in Sheridan were completely sold out.  We decided to get to Gillette, WY, about 1 1/2 hours east of Sheridan.  I’m glad we called and booked a room from Rapid City, because by the time we got there all the hotels in Gillette were sold out too.  We crawled into bed around 1:00am after showering, and passed out for the night.

Friday, July 27th
I Thought Yesterday Was Supposed To Be Our Hard Day!!!

Got up at 7:00am–Screaming Meanie to the rescue again.  Ate breakfast (yumm, New Mexico green chile omelet!); the service was nice in the hotel restaurant but painfully slow.  Got rolling again around 10:30am, and the miles began flowing by.  Passed the entrance to Highway 14A and the Bighorn National Forest–it was hard to resist going up into the mountains, but we needed to make Spokane that night and the GPS indicated we had over 800 miles to go!  Blech.

The miles rolled by pretty uneventfully.  Past Billings, the wind kicked up again, then the heat, and we were back in the hairdryer.  Rolled into Butte, MT at 3:00, but didn’t get out again until after 4:00!  There was some kind of charity motorcycle ride going on, and the exit we took was completely blocked off by police–we had no way of turning around, so had to sit there until the whole thing was done.  Then the gas stations were jam-packed with all the vehicles who also took the exit we did; have I mentioned lately that I hate people?  Finally got to Missoula around 8:30pm and had a really good pizza.  Lucy, our awesome waitress, informed us that Red Bull was not sold there, but said the manager kept a stash in his office and sold us two for the cost of two iced teas–Lucy rocks!  Then when packing up to hit the road we had to avoid making eye contact with this complete 130-pound dweeb who was arguing with a ginormeous bouncer.  It ended with the bouncer puffing up, coming out of the doorway and screaming, “DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FUCK WITH ME???”  The dweeb finally backs down, and walks by us muttering something about guns and laser sights.

Missoula to Spokane was excruciating!  Construction, cops all over Idaho, and our flagging concentration led to a very interesting and somewhat frightening ride.  Brian was leading–I had to take my contacts out in Missoula, and even with glasses my vision was very blurry from over-wearing my lenses–and had been periodically dangling his legs for a rest while driving.  At one point he stuck a leg out, then I see this HUGE black something-or-other on the road to my left.  I watched it pass by in slooooooooow moooooootioooooooon and when it had passed, my brain finally worked out that he had been pointing at a road obstacle that I really only watched and made no conscious effort to avoid.  Time to take a break!

We pulled over in parking area on the interstate for a smoke break and some jumping jacks–wake up, brain!!  About 60 miles later and we were west of Spokane, in Cheney, WA.  We had a hotel reservation at the Holiday Inn Express there (made en route with Leslie’s help, since I couldn’t get a data signal where we were) which was brand new, right down to the 36″ high-def LCD tv’s in each room–too bad I was too tired to enjoy it!  We finally got to bed around 1:30am; damn I’m tired.  Just 4 more hours and we’ll be there!